I regret to inform you that there will not be a Business Balloon Sunday on May 11th (happy Mother’s day, moms). I know, life can be so brutal. So, unkind. So, anti-good. Be strong, business balloon fans. Take solace in the old saying, “Heed the balloons for they shall be of comfort to ye and ye shall see them when the sun rises on the day after the day after the day after the big-ass trip.”
We will be off the next two weeks gallivanting in the Pacific Northwest - Seattle, Portland, Alaska, Canada. We’re going on our first cruise in celebration of 10 years of togetherness. Yes, we’re lesbians. We are lesbos. Leeessssbos. Lezzies. Lesbianos. Lesbicas. We be lesbians. Lesbian, lesbian, lesbian. Kit-Katt-ers. Muff divers. Cunt chompers. Dyke, bitch carpet munchers. We will say it loud and proud and we will visit the Isle of Lesbos and shout it out, “We are LESBIANS AND WE LOVE PUSSY GET THE FUCK OVER IT!”
Because we are lesbians going on a cruise as we enjoy doing fun things much like many Lesbians and non-lesbians and non-Lesbians alike, I’ll give you two pics to tide you over until my return. One is a balloon, one is not. But the non-balloon has Business Balloon spirit. Yes, it’s a freaky animal thing used to lure you into buying cheap shit. If that’s not Business Balloon spirit, then I don’t know what is.
I took this picture of Emu Dude on the way to visit the Sam Houston Statue. He was standing outside a mattress store because, on a lovely Sunday afternoon, a balloon just won’t do. You need a guy in a furry costume if you want to sell mattresses to people who are out enjoying the beautiful sunny sky and moderated temps.
Emu Dude was kinda emo (or stoned). I asked if I could take his pic. He didn’t really do anything to indicate I could or couldn’t take his picture. He just kept waving to the cars. He was a savant emu.
As we traveled on, we came across Monster Deal Dog. He’s got a monster deal for you on a GREAT used vehicle. I like his doggy, balloon hair-do. Max calls him Hong Kong Phooey. Remember Hong Kong Phooey? No? Well, maybe you’re just too young. Bitch.
Do you think there may have been drugs involved when they came up with the idea of a dog that is a janitor who jumps into a filing cabinet to transform into a Kung Fu master and hapless fighter of crime and ev-eel?
But, one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons from the 70s was the Groovie Ghoulies. And how cool is You Tube? They have the Super Ghoul song! Super Ghoul was so gay. A purple cape? Ballet shoes? So. G. A. Y.
Alright, y’all be good while I’m gone. I’ll have some pics when I get back.
It’s true! We have friends and as luck would have it, they have the same camera that I have. Woo. Good friends Vicki and Suzanne were visiting the other night. Vicki apparently got a shit hot deal on a Canon Rebel and all kinds of other cool stuff including a telephoto lens. She is letting me use the lens and the camera bag and a couple other gadgety things on our big ass trip.
I was able to take a picture of Nola. Normally she would cower in fear if I was close to her with a camera. But, I wasn’t near her. I was across the yard. Sweeeet….
See how she’s just kinda laying there oblivious to what is going on? Well, this is very unusual considering what was within striking distance…
This bird was sitting in one of the pots right next to the back door. Nola is our ‘mouser’ dog. Little creatures, especially birds, are not safe with her around. Yet this guy is just kinda hanging out. When I spotted it, he almost didn’t look real. I thought it was a toy. I have never seen a bird with this coloring before. Ever. As far as colorful birds go, we get the usual cardinals, robins and bluejays. I have no idea what kind of bird this is. But…I did not take these pictures with the telephoto lens. Nope. I wasn’t more than two feet away when I snapped them. After this one, he flew away right past me…
We’ve gotten a lot of new plants in the backyard. It’s not news that the more color you plant, the more colorful guests you’ll have - birds, butterflies, bees.
I told Thomas I had a job for him while we were away. He was like, “Ok, what now?”
I told him I wanted him to make sure all the plants get watered, especially the new plantings. A wave of relief washed over him. He thought I was going to make him clean the house…
Thomas’ six year old cousin, Bobby, was visiting today. He said (very studiously), “Thomas, your hair is getting much longer.” Then, not so studiously he said, “You look like a girrrrrrl.”
The pictures are so crisp and these aren’t particularly good pictures. But very nice for just pointing and shooting without much thought. Below are Sawyer and Lilli. I would have taken a picture of Nola but she’s afeared of the “evil black thing of the human bi-peds!” She flees in horror lest she be turned into a cat.
It’s really weird to have a camera with depth of field. It surprises me when I look threw the view finder. I liked my Kodak EasyShare. It was nice, cheapy camera that has seen a lot of travelin’ and picture takin’. But it will definitely be cool to have a big-ass camera to take on our big-ass trip.
As a general rule, I kinda, sorta know what’s going on in Canada. I at least have a rudimentary idea of the political climate and I can always name the prime minister. I believe it is my duty as a citizen of North America to be informed about our neighbors especially since they have no choice but to deal with our sorry asses cuz we’re so ‘Super Power’ and all. Besides, I like Canadians (and Mexicans and Latin Americans). Canadians are just so nice in this ‘gosh, golly’ Troy Donahue/Sandra Dee-esque way. I also like saying, ‘eh.’
Well, after reading this post on I Blame The Patriarchy today, I realize I am a Canadium informatus ignoramus. Alas, I apologize to our northern neighbors that if chosen as a ’street shout out’ on Cash Cab yesterday, and asked about the current Canadian PM, I’d have guessed Paul Martin and would have been wrong. Today, I know the answer - just call him Dubya’s Asslicker.
A couple months ago, Jero (she of the House Of), was lamenting the sorry state of US immigration for lesbians and gays because The Litters have been totally fucked over and it sucks big time. Jero’s anger is justified and her desire to flee to Canada is understandable. I’ve heard the same sentiments from many a lesbo. Canada seems like political paradise. It might be paradise if it wasn’t so fucking cold AND Duby’s cocksucker wasn’t the PM.
Yes, Gentle Woodland Folk of the Blogisphere, Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada is the Canuck edition of George W. Bush. If you decide to flee the US to get away from Bush, you will encounter Bush’s ballsucking kid brother on the other side of the border. Oh boy. It appears there is no escape from the peckerheads of the world put into power by some Darth Vadian force of karmic malformation - some might call it the patriarchy, some might call it hell.
I’m liking this painting more and more. I need some new brushes. I discovered this as I tried to work on some shadows and highlights. I’ll also be able to work on other parts of it now that much of the background is set. Maybe tomorrow I’ll work on the bottom of the bed and maybe, maybe…I’ll put the toasters in the water. Oh yeah.
I took this picture with my new camera. Woo. I feel so professional now. Although this isn’t looking like a professionally-took picture with all the glare and everything. Meh. Whatever.
I don’t quite understand the irrational disdain people have for Hillary Clinton. I keep reading about how much of a liar she is. I don’t like lies, but name me one politician who doesn’t lie like a fucking rug? Oh right, golden boy Barack Obama doesn’t lie. He’s perfect. And, when he’s president, he will always tell the truth. And, when his presidency is over, there will be no need to sequester his presidential papers because he is, in fact, Jesus Christ returning to lead us all to salvation, there will be no lies.
I like Obama but I’m very much over the whole Obama-is-Lord voodoo that the media (particularly on the left) is spoon feeding us. I just want some objectivity. Why does it take someone on the right to inject a little objectivity into the Dem race? This morning, William Kristol is paying Clinton props in the op-ed section of the NYT. If you don’t know who William Kristol is, get your ass a-Googling.
Finally, someone is saying what I’ve been seeing all along – Clinton is a smart, tough candidate. Obama doesn’t want to debate her because she’s thumped him every single time. If you haven’t seen it then you’ve been living la vie en rose and Obama’s smoove talk is playing some Jedi mind tricks on you.
Why isn’t anyone bringing up the fact that Obama is running as a diplomat and our last diplomat president was Jimmy Carter? Love Carter. Great guy. Sucked balls as president. I was there. I remember. I was in my late teens and even I got fucking fed up with Carter forming a committee every week. He could never make a decision so he formed committees. That’s what ‘consensus builders’ do. This is what I fear about Obama - he’s not presidential material - he’s secretary of state material.
Clinton has been roundly bashed on MSNBC by that colossal prick, Chris Matthews and the other colossal, sexist pricks at MSNBC. Moveon.org has been organized for Obama from the start. Over at Daily Kos, the Clinton bashing is so shrill it rivals the scream of Oskar from the Tin Drum. The kid could scream. You expect this crap from Fox News and other bastions of right wing nut jobs, not from media outlets you normally consider moderate or liberal. Yet, Clinton is still standing.
I don’t want to hear about how Clinton’s laugh is like a cackle. I don’t care if you don’t like her. Liking someone is not a viable reason for choosing a president. I’m sorry, it’s not. It’s always better to like someone, but it’s not necessary. I don’t want to hear about how she reminds you of your ex-wife. I don’t care if you think she’s cold (personally, I think she has a good sense of humor). I don’t want to hear about how you think she’s shrill and men don’t like that in a woman (what heterosexual men think about women means absolutely nothing to me). I don’t want to hear about how she may have had plastic surgery. I don’t want to hear about her hair or her clothes or her big ankles. I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THAT SHIT.
If you do, you shouldn’t vote.
Yes, I changed the template again because I wanted bigger pictures. The other template wasn’t adequate enough and the template before that had a problem with the head pic. I don’t want to hear about how flightly I am, so just stop that. I changed out of necessity.
I’m feeling all Frrrench today so aujourd’hui, je present to vous le mattress avec lunettes de soleil.
You wouldn’t know it from the balloons I’ve already shown, but sunglasses are the accessory de rigueur for business balloons. It’s the must-have fashion accoutrement for the business balloon on the catwalk. So far, only one balloon in the BBS assemblage has had sunglasses - that would be Strong Man. But I assure you, I have more.
Look, you get to see how all the balloon magic happens. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.
Or is it just a left/right brain thing?
This is supposedly a test that will tell you if you are racist. In the test you are show 100 images. Each has a black man or a white man. The man is holding either a gun, or a cell phone (one has a beer). You are to shoot the guy with the gun and holster your gun if the guy has a cell phone. Definitely holster it if he has a beer.
Depending on how quickly you shoot will determine if you are a racist. Although the question is, if you are white and you shoot the white guys faster than the black guys, are you a racist? Seems to me the answer would be yes. Or, perhaps you are a self-hating white person.
Turns out, I’d shoot a black guy faster than a white guy. But, one thing I found when I did this test, I wasn’t looking at the guy’s skin color, I was looking for which hand held the gun. From what I could tell, more black guys had a gun on the right side of the screen. To shoot, you use the “/” key which is on the right side of the keyboard. More of the white guys held cellphones on the left side, to holster your gun you use the ‘z’ key.
Of course, I could be in denial that I’m a racist whitey.
I have not forgotten about my mermaid. I’ve been painting her on Monday nights. How many Mondays does it take to finish a mermaid painting? I’ll find out. It’s far from finished. It’s pretty much an oil sketch right now - but that’s all part of the process.
I woke up the other day with a sharp pain in my right wrist. I’ve had this pain before although it has never been quite so acute. It hurt. Ow. I woke up around 3am and wanted to cut my hand off. That’s how sharp the pain was.
I chalk up this extra inflammation to having been a gardening Rambo for the last week. One must use one’s wrist in order to dig. And one must dig when one is being a gardening Rambo. The yard looks great, btw.
As with all medical conditions that thrust themselves upon me, I immediately self diagnose via Google. How did we ever live without the internet and its search engines? Oh right, we went to see a doctor straight away. I keep forgetting that.
Here is what I could have: Carpal tunnel syndrome, arthritis, diabetes, repetitive motion injury or my symptoms could be an indication of a silent killer like stroke or heart attack. Of course, it’s almost mandatory when self diagnosing on the internet that you come across the ‘you can potentially die’ diagnosis. I would be let down if I couldn’t possibly die from my wrist injury.
I’m inclined to believe it’s repetitive motion injury considering I’ve been clicking on mice for 24 years now. Actually, it’s been exactly 24 years because in March of 1984 I worked for the Department of Technology of the Houston Independent School District. We were a Mac test site and got some of the first Macs to roll off the assembly line. Before that, I worked on an Apple IIe with a graphics tablet.
In the meantime, I’m attempting to “mouse” with my left hand (hmmm, that sounds a bit dubious). Have any of you right-handed people ever tried this? It’s a comedy. Go ahead, give it a shot. You have to rearrange your brain completely. Good luck. How many clicks with the left index finger on the right mouse button does it take before you shoot yourself? One. Two-hoo…
I’m going out to get a brace in a little while. Considering I’m self diagnosing, I might as well self medicate. Beer or wine? Hmmm. Decisions.
Yes, I’ve been a slacker. Actually, I haven’t been a slacker, I’ve been a planter. I’ve been planting. I am a shrubber.
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say ‘ni’ at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land. Nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is ‘Roger the Shrubber’. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
Considering I was shrubbing, I wasn’t balloon blogging. For this I feel bad. To quote one reader:
My Sunday mood went from hopeful to deflated to bereft.
I will make up for my lack of ballooness by posting this cool, groovy balloon we saw on our way to the Sam Houston statue. I love these big, honkin’ balloons on small buildings and houses. It makes me want to put a balloon on our house but brother of ‘grass guy‘ would have a major conniption fit. It’s bad enough we have an art car in the driveway.
For your balloon perusal I submit to you - Godzilla on the house of a cheapy, limo service:
…for eb had changed her template.
Yeah, the other one was doing funky color things with the banner. So I changed to this one.
I like it. Ok…back to snoring…
zzzZZZZzzzzZZZZzzz